Of Doom And Salvation
by LM Quin
Summary: What if Merlin was the one who found Morgana instead of Aithusa? What would he do? Would he let her die or would he save her? M/M. Raiting will go up for possible sexual content. Set after season 4.
1. Bring me to life

**I'm dying to see how the next season will be and how the events will unravel. This is how the story should go in my opinion. This takes place after the fourth season.**

She couldn't believe how everything had ended so fast. Everything she had planned for so long… gone in a heartbeat. How could she have failed like that? This wasn't how things were supposed to go. She was to take the throne and kill her irritating brother. She was to control Camelot and every living soul in it, she was to form the strongest army this era had ever seen and she was to find Emrys and kill him. But her carefully planned scheme had failed and now she was left with nothing, again.

Morgause was dead, Helios was dead, Agravaine was dead. Everyone had died on her. She was alone once more while her brother was gloating in his victory, probably crowning that unworthy servant…

A searing pain coming from her side caused Morgana to double over and gasp. She could no longer walk, she could feel the blood oozing from her wound like a furious river and trailing down her waist.

She had to keep on, she had to continue walking. She couldn't stop, not now. Not ever.

Morgana's knees gave out and she felt to the ground, powerless. This was her end. She would die here, on this gloomy and humid forest, and she would never have the peace she sought.

Her head collided with her outstretched arm as her strength left her completely. She had her emerald eyes wide open; she wanted to absorb what would be her last images in this life. She wanted them to be carved in her mind so that she would have something to hold onto in her passing.

Slowly, her eyelids began to shut closed and her world turned pitch black.

**I**

"There'll be no rest for anyone until Morgana's found" Arthur's voice roared amongst his knights "If she's alive, make sure she's no threat to you and capture her. If she's recovered her powers, don't hesitate to attack her. It will be your life or hers and she's a desperate soul. She'll do anything, and I repeat anything, to stay alive" The eerie silence among Arthur's troops was unnerving. They all knew that, despite the King's cold mask, he was still hurting for Morgana's betrayal "If she's dead… bring her body back to me. She'll receive a proper funeral in Camelot as the princess she once was" Arthur looked at every one of his knights to make sure they all had understood everything he had said. When his eyes landed on Merlin's, he was thrown aback upon seeing his manservant's look of complete understanding, as if he was feeling the same way Arthur did. The King forced himself to tear away his gaze from Merlin's and focus on his men again "It's time" He said and his knights mounted his horses, ready to leave at Arthur's command.

The King walked down to where Merlin was standing and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Stay here, Merlin" He said, looking like a fragile boy instead of a powerful King. He squeezed Merlin's shoulder as a goodbye and was about to leave when his manservant's voice stopped him.

"No. I'll go with you" He replied, determination brimming in his eyes "Morgana is dangerous" Merlin knew that he wasn't going to convince Arthur that way. In his eyes, Merlin was just a clumsy servant. What good could he be against a powerful sorceress? But he had to go with him; he couldn't let him go alone. Morgana was too powerful, even if she was injured, and it was his destiny to ensue Arthur's safety for the welfare of the Kingdom "Besides, if I don't go with you then who's gonna prevent Morgana for kicking your butt like a little girl?"

Arthur snorted and looked away. He wasn't expecting Merlin's pranks in a moment like that "You're right, Merlin" He said in that annoying voice of his.

"I am?" Merlin asked, bewildered. It had to be the first time that Arthur admitted him being right.

"If I leave you here, Morgana might come back and use your dead body to sweep the floor of the whole castle. I just can't let that happen" Arthur feigned worry "I really don't have the time to look for a new servant right now" He added and then turned around to head to his own horse.

Merlin clucked and watched his prankster King mount his horse.

At least he got to join them...

**II**

"HEAD NORTH!" Arthur shouted and the knights pulled on the reigns to turn back around.

Unfortunately, Merlin had been out of earshot so as to hear his King's command. He kept on riding south with his eyes trained on the horizon line. He wasn't sure why but he could feel his heart constricting and, all of a sudden, he remembered Morgana lying in his arms, struggling to breathe.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and focused on the task at hand. She was a sworn enemy of Camelot, she was no longer the kind and compassionate girl she had been. He had to keep that in mind.

He kicked the horse into a gallop. The sun was setting and it would not be safe anymore. Well, as safe as one could be with Morgana out on the loose.

He had been riding nonstop for half a candlemark when he saw something. A body, definitely a woman's lying on the grass with her back to him.

"It's her. It's Morgana" He whispered to himself "I found her!" Merlin yelled and his voice nearly echoed.

When no response came forth, Merlin turned around.

There was no one there. He must have separated from the group without noticing. He returned his gaze to Morgana's limp form on the floor. Arthur's orders had been clear: To return Morgana to Camelot, shackled or lifeless, it did not matter.

Merlin dismounted with an agile jump and patted the horse to calm her down. Apparently, the mere presence of the sorceress was enough to unsettle the mare. He walked down to where Morgana was lying with cautiousness. She could easily be trying to trick him into a trap and he did not want to fall prisoner to her. He had once and it had been… painful.

He trained his eyes on her back. She didn't seem to be breathing. With a little more urgency than before, Merlin circled Morgana's body and kneeled in front of her. He brought two fingers to her neck, to find her pulse. It was gone.

Suddenly, he panicked. He didn't want Morgana dead and he didn't know why. She had tried to kill him in several occasions; she had plotted against Camelot endlessly and threatened to hurt his friends. He should despise this woman, yet his actions indicated contrarily. Without losing time to think, he placed a hand over her heart and another in her forehead and closed his eyes. He had no idea what he was doing; he had merely acted out of an impulse. But something seemed to have worked as a strange warmth spread through his body and down the length of his limbs until it was out of his system.

And into Morgana's.

He opened his eyes and stared in fright and confusion as Morgana took in a sharp breath and her heart, beneath his palm, began to hammer against her chest.

He fell on his rear, shocked. She was alive. She had brought Morgana back to life.

She seemed to be as shocked and frightened as him, not quite understanding what had just transpired. Had she died?

Her emerald eyes met sea blue and locked for what seemed to be the longest time. He had saved her. She was about to speak when Arthur's voice reverberated through the trees.

"MERLIN!"

_He was near_.

**FIN**

**Should I continue? I'm exploring new grounds here, since season five will not air for a while. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it. I certainly did :) If people like it and want me to continue it'll be my pleasure. I promise angst, romance, danger and steamy scenes ;)**


	2. To mend the past

**Thank you all my lovely readers for your sweet comments and encouragement. I had never been so motivated to write a story before and that is thanks to you! So I hope you'll enjoy chapter two and that I'll enjoy more of your comments by the end of it!**

**I**

"MERLIN!" Arthur's voice reverberated in the forest again. He sounded so close that Merlin could already hear the horse threads and the rustle of the leaves.

This wasn't good.

Merlin's eyes fell back to Morgana's shuddering form on the ground. He frowned as he took in the sight of her. Was she cold?

As an answer to his unspoken question, Morgana brought a hand to her side and closed her eyes as pain swept over her.

He had brought her back to life but he hadn't healed her injury.

"MERLIN!" Arthur screamed once more and Merlin thought he caught sight of his torch glowing in the distance. He didn't have much time. He had to take Morgana to Arthur so that he could have justice for her deeds. Yes. That was what he would do. He would hand over Morgana and put an end to the reign of terror she had brought upon Camelot.

Merlin bent over and wrapped his arms around Morgana's form. He was expecting her to fight him off but she only let out a painful gasp when his hands made contact with her sore body. When he realized his actions had hurt her he mumbled an apology and cradled her in his arms more carefully this time. He lifted her off the ground and held her close to his chest. He was surprised to find she was lighter than a feather.

The young warlock walked over to his horse with Morgana firmly held against his chest. He lifted her onto the mare's saddle as best as he could and then mounted the horse behind her. He circled the girl's body with his arms so that she wouldn't fall and gripped the reigns tightly in one hand. Before he kicked the horse into a throttle he casted a glance at Morgana's face.

She had her eyes closed and he realized she had probably passed out from the pain that all the movement had caused her. He couldn't help thinking how peaceful and fragile she looked, almost as if she was the old Morgana again. His heart skipped a beat when he noticed they had been in a similar situation not so many years ago. She had been lying limply in his arms looking as pale and clammy as a ghost, much like she was now. Poisoning Morgana was something he had never been able to forgive himself for. It still brought him nightmares at night and it still lied dormant in the back of his mind, like a shadow. No matter the circumstances that led him to do it, Morgana had been his friend and he had betrayed her. That was something we would never be able to forget or forgive himself for.

"THERE!" Arthur screamed and Merlin snapped his head over his shoulder to see his King at the top of a hill, commanding his knights to move forward. They had found him.

Merlin kicked the mare into a full gallop. Arthur was there, the knights were there. They were all his friends and they were looking for a fugitive and deadly sorceress who had sworn to bring down all of Camelot if she didn't get what she wanted. He knew that entirely well, then why was he riding at full speed in exactly the opposite direction?

He didn't know why but something inside of him felt the need to protect the woman cradled in his arms. He had to take Morgana to safety.

The minute the knights realized what Merlin was doing, they jumped atop their horses and began a frantic chase for the both of them. It was almost impossible for Merlin to outrun the knights, all odds were against him: they were on irregular ground, he had no one else but skilled knights of Camelot chasing after him and there was extra-weight on his horse. There was no way he would make it.

He had two choices. He could either pull the mare to a stop and hand Morgana over to the knights or he could die trying to escape.

A stifled moan of pain coming from the woman in his embrace gave him all the resolution he sought: He would die trying to save her.

If they were to stand a chance against the knights then he would need to do something extreme. He had to create a diversion, make them stop somehow. Suddenly, an idea struck him. Merlin turned his head over his shoulder and whispered "yn rhaid i chi ollwng y gangen". The second he said the words, his eyes flashed gold and a branch broke loose and fell to the ground, causing the knights to abruptly pull on the reigns. That was exactly the diversion he needed, it would buy him time enough to take Morgana where he knew she'd be safe. At least for a while.

**II**

By the time they reached the cave the sun had almost set completely and it was beginning to get cold. Merlin dismounted the horse with a swift jump and guided the worn out mare to the entrance of what would be their hiding spot for the time being. He tied the animal to a tree and then turned back around to the woman lying unconscious on the saddle.

He easily lifted her off and carried her into the cave. He took out a bedroll from his backpack and sprawled it on the floor for Morgana to lie on. The next thing he did was starting a fire and moving the bedroll closer to it.

When everything was ready, Merlin knelt before Morgana and tore the side of her dress open to expose her wound. It looked bad, _really_ bad. He had to tend to it quickly before something worse happened, like she dying on him. That was something he would not allow, Morgana dying on him. He had sentenced her to death more than once in the past and he would not do it again. This time would be different. This time he would give her life rather than take it from her.

With fierce determination shining in his eyes, Merlin cupped Morgana's wound with his hand (much in the same fashion he had done earlier in the woods) and was about to conjure the enchantment that would save her when Morgana opened her eyes.

"Merlin?"

_She had seen him_.

**Ups, Merlin should have been more careful when using his magic. What do you think it happened, guys? Did Morgana see him? Will Merlin be able to cure Morgana? In the next chapter we will know the answers to these questions and more.. much more. Things will begin to get spicy between these two… **_**soon**_**.**

**Please, please review and tell me what you think of it so far. You guys have no idea how happy it makes me to read your comments and opinions! Plus it motivates me to update faster !**


	3. Animal I have become

**Warning: This chapter might disturb some sensitive readers, so please beware! (It's not that strong but I once had a friend who would pass out by the sight of blood, so who knows? )**

**Before launching into the chapter, I wanted to express my deepest gratitude to all those who reviewed and faved the story. I will never be able to tell you just how happy that makes me feel. So really, thank you! You're my motivation, don't ever stop! **

Morgana gripped his wrist as anger flashed in her emerald eyes "What are you doing?"

His eyes darted to her slender fingers around his flesh. Her forceful grip was all too familiar to him, drawing enough pain from him so as to have him centered on her, yet not enough so as to make him cry out in pain. He remembered that time she cornered him in an alcove…

Merlin shook his head to clear his thoughts and his attention returned to the woman now contemplating him with a curious look on her face. Was she smirking?

"I.. I-Uhm" Merlin snapped his hand away from Morgana's side and dropped his gaze in shame. She had caught him in a _bad_ moment and he wasn't sure what to do or say for that matter. He didn't know if she had seen him and there was no way he could ask her without being literal either, so he opted for resignation. It's not like one can keep a secret forever… right? "Morgana... I was… you were and I was just…"

"Spit it out, boy!" Morgana growled, startling the young warlock. Even injured she could be so brutal… and for a second he wondered if it had been a good idea saving her. No, it hadn't been. She was his enemy, Camelot's enemy… it was a terrible idea. Yet she had been his friend and the kindest girl he had ever met "Merlin!" The boy's attention went back to her and, just as she was about to speak again, she began to shake with violent coughs.

Morgana brought her hand to her mouth to stop her coughing and Merlin placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you alright?" He asked, clear concern in his voice.

Morgana shrugged him off and coughed one last time before removing her hand from her mouth. What she saw in the palm of her hand made her frown.

"Is that…?"

"Yes, Merlin" She said hastily "It's blood"

**I**

They spent half a candlemark in silence after that, each lost in their own thoughts. Merlin was sitting against the wall of the other end of the cave and Morgana was split between half-sitting (when she coughed) and half-lying on the bedroll (when she didn't).

The situation was hard on its own, they were enemies, tried to kill one another on several occasions. They were almost strangers, yet here they were, inside the same cave. They were now runaways with a twisted destiny that neither of them seemed able to shake off.

Merlin could have left her there in the woods, she would have been burning in a funeral pyre in Camelot's courtyard by now and he would've been standing by Arthur's side, where he belonged. Instead he had saved her and he had turned on his friends just to give her another chance. At what? He didn't know. As for Morgana, she could have killed him by now or tried to but she hadn't. She had simply remained where he had first laid her onto, not even glancing once at his way.

Another quarter of a candlemark passed before Merlin had had enough of her coughing and decided to break the heavy silence that had grown between the two.

"Look, Morgana" He said, his voice halting Morgana's movements yet not enough to make her look at him, as it seemed "I don't like this anymore than you do but if you plan on seeing another sunrise then you have to let me help you" This time she did raise her eyes to meet his. Merlin shrunk a little at the sight of her. She looked so… _broken_.

"No" She managed to say, before another way of violent coughing assaulted her.

"Why not?" Merlin was growing impatient. Morgana was no fool, she knew she was dying and yet she chose to refuse his help?

"You tried to kill me once, how should I know you're not trying to finish me off quickly now?"

He would have been lying if he said her words didn't sting because they did. Her words hurt more than a thousand small needles piercing his skin simply because she spoke the truth. She was right to mistrust him, she was right in being afraid of what he could do to her, and that knowledge was a stab right through his heart. What had he done to her?

"You're right" He whispered almost inaudibly, the weight of his guilt closing his throat and not letting him speak.

Morgana was struck by such heart-felt admission and, for a moment, her resolution faltered. He seemed to be truly sorry for what he had done to her, yet she couldn't shake off the sight of him as she gasped for dear life. She couldn't erase the images from her mind nor could she forget the taste of hemlock in her mouth. He had not only killed her body that day, he had also killed her soul.

When he realized she wasn't going to speak, Merlin pressed on "Morgana, that wound on your side is deep and, by the looks of it, it's infected" Morgana lowered her eyes to glance at her wound, the coagulated blood mixed with the pus that was suppurating from it almost made her gag "I know you don't trust me but, if you intend on living another day, then you'll have to because I am your only choice whether you like it or not"

Morgana locked eyes with him and penetrated him with her gaze. Merlin allowed her to and held her gaze. He knew she was trying to read him, to know if he was being truly honest with her. She seemed to have got her answers when she broke the eye contact with him and, instead, tried to settle down on the bedroll as ceremoniously as her aching body let her to.

Merlin took this as a positive sign and sighed inwardly in relief. He got onto his feet and crossed the distance between them. When he kneeled in front of her she gripped his wrist so fast that he didn't even have time to register any movement at all.

"If you are lying to me, Merlin, or if you plan on tricking me I swear… " Her threat was cut off short by some more coughing. Merlin gazed down at her with sadness in his blue eyes. She was so close to dying and she couldn't let her guard down, not even for a second. To know he had been the reason why she was closer to a terrified animal than a human being was devastating.

She didn't finish her threat in the end. When her coughs subsided, she let go of Merlin's wrist and let herself fall limply against the bedroll. She was so exhausted that she couldn't even finish her threat.

Merlin didn't lose any more time and sprung into action. With practiced hands he removed the glued clothing from Morgana's open wound and exposed it. He frowned; you didn't need an expert to realize how bad this wound really was. He would need tools, salves and he would need assistance.

Merlin stole a glance at Morgana's face. She had her eyes wide shut, sweat covering her clammy skin. She was obviously trying to remain alert but the exhaustion was quickly kicking in. Unfortunately, Merlin couldn't let her pass out. She would have to stay awake throughout the whole process because he couldn't do this alone. He needed someone to assist him and she was the only one there who could.

More than once he thought about using his magic, but there was no way he could risk doing it and having Morgana finding out. She had been so close to catching him just mere hours ago. He simply couldn't do it again and even if he had the guarantee that she wouldn't wake up and see him, how exactly would he explain afterwards the miracle of her healed wound to her? It was a dead end, every way he looked at it. The only choice he had was to do this the conventional way.

"Morgana" He shook her shoulder impatiently "Morgana, open your eyes"

She did as he told but not without shooting daggers at him first.

"Morgana, if we're going to do this then I will need your help" Something similar to panic flashed through her eyes but Merlin ignored it. There was no time for that "The wound is bad, really bad, and I need all the help that I can get. So, you will need to stay alert. Ok?" he bore his eyes into hers; he had to make her understand.

She nodded her head in silent agreement "What do you want me to do?" She asked and Merlin smiled for the first time that day. They were going to work together as a team, like old times sake.

"Ok. So here's what we'll do…"

**II**

Her screams of pain echoed in the cave walls and were magnified ten times louder. They had been going on like this for half a candlemark already and it didn't seem to be getting better any time soon. Morgana was doing an excellent job though. She had stayed awake throughout the whole process, just like Merlin had asked her to. She had assisted him with a look of fierce determination even as he plunged a dagger into her exposed wound and sliced the skin to have better access.

He was utterly impressed that she had managed not to lose consciousness with all the blood she had lost and the pain that this was causing her.

"Hang on, Morgana" He whispered, never once losing track of the wound he was treating "Just a little further…"

Morgana cried out in pain again, Merlin's ministrations being too painful for her to manage anymore.

"Mer-Merlin, please" She pleaded, her eyes watering rapidly as Merlin pierced her skin with his sterilized needle "I can't… can't take it anymore"

For the first time since they had begun, Merlin stopped and looked back at Morgana. Her face was strained and sweaty. She was frowning and blood was oozing from her lower lip, the one she had been biting hard to stop herself from crying out. Her locks were plastered to her face and she looked paler than ever.

It tore him apart to see her in so much pain, literally begging him to stop. He wanted nothing else than to throw away the needle in his hand and brush away the tears that were now rolling down her cheeks. But he couldn't and Morgana knew that. He couldn't stop now, not when they were so close. He had to finish stitching the wound close if he wanted this to, at least, have a chance to working out.

Merlin shook his head to indicate her that he had to go on and Morgana let out a shuddering breath, just as more tears fell from her eyes. As he returned to his task, Merlin wished she hadn't been so weak so that she could have used her magic to numb the pain. But magic was but another name for energy, the energy found in nature, and Morgana was too weak, too worn out. Using her magic would have been her death sentence and so both of them, magical beings, had never felt so helpless and human before.

Merlin pierced the tip of the needle in Morgana's skin one last time and then took it out, closing the wound along with it. He made a quick knot and cut the thread with his teeth. Then, he looked at Morgana and nodded "It's over".

Morgana smiled and sighed nervously. It was over, the pain was over. The little energy she had been holding onto until that moment left her and her head collided with the ground.

"I did it" She whispered almost inaudibly. Merlin had to lean in closer so as to hear her "I stayed awake"

Merlin's heart filled with inexplicable warmth. She was right, she had stayed conscious through all that pain. She was so strong, so determined. He felt pride igniting him, he was proud of her. Without noticing he grabbed her sweaty hand in his "Yes, you did" He squeezed the smaller hand in his and felt her weak response "You can rest now, Morgana".

"Merlin?" She called him weakly.

"Yes?"

"Thank you"

And just as if he had enchanted her, Morgana's eyes shut closed and she blacked out.

**Angsty much? I'm a sucker for angst filled stories but this one won't be all angst. Now, we begin to walk down a much, **_**much**_** warmer path. That I guarantee!**

**In the next chapter Morgana and Merlin have a **_**very intimate**_** talk. Stay tuned for more and remember to hit the tiny blue button! Every time you review, I squeal and write faster!**


	4. The Reason

**I must confess English is not my mother tongue and that I do not have a beta reader so all pretty mistakes go to me. Also, if you find that I messed up with the tenses on this one I sincerely apologize!**

**Not many reviews on the last one, which made me a tad sad. Anyhow, I did my best to update fast but that won't be possible for the next chapter since I'm starting classes again. So I will really need the motivation from you, guys =/ **

**Author's rant over. Now, Enjoy!**

He had tried to fall asleep, in vane, throughout the whole night. He couldn't relax, not with all of what was going on hammering in his mind. It was a good thing though because not being able to fall asleep had allowed him to watch over Morgana as she rested. Her words still echoed in his mind, giving him an odd feeling of melancholy. Morgana had thanked him for saving her life and those two simple words had been enough to leave him shaken to the core. Years ago, these two words would have meant a different thing than they did now. Now he simply wasn't sure of what they meant anymore.

A small whimper brought him out of his reverie. He rose on his elbow to gaze at the sleeping figure beside him. Morgana's eyes were moving rapidly beneath her eyelids and she was frowning. She seemed to be having an intense dream. Merlin thought about waking her up but he wasn't sure how she'd react, plus she needed to rest. He might have healed her wound but her body wasn't yet recovered and she couldn't overwork.

As he pondered about what to do, Morgana began to toss and turn in her sleep. Her eyelids began to flutter fast and her whimpers became more regular. Merlin placed a hand on her shoulder and shook her slightly.

"Morgana, wake up"

But she didn't. Instead, she cried out in her sleep.

Merlin shook her more forcefully this time "Morgana? Morgana, wake up" the girl kept on whimpering and trembling under his hand. This wasn't good; he had to awaken her "Morgana!"

Morgana gasped awake and sat bolt upright in her bedroll. She looked around frantically, trying to figure out where she was. She was clearly very distressed and disoriented.

Merlin gripped her upper arm and forced her to acknowledge him "Morgana, it's me. It's Merlin. You're alright, you're safe" Morgana's emerald eyes finally met his and he couldn't help jumping a little by the sight that greeted him.

"I ha-had a nightmare" she let out a shaky breath and tears welled up in her eyes "Arthur. He-he had found me and-and…" The tears began to stream down her face as she battled to finish her sentence (A battle that she reluctantly lost).

Merlin couldn't believe what he was hearing. Morgana, as powerful as she was… afraid of her brother? But why? The young warlock shook these questions out of his head and focused on Morgana.

"Shh, you're safe now. You're safe with me, Morgana" He whispered, boring his eyes intently into hers. She trembled as a response and Merlin wrapped his arms around her and brought her close to his chest "I'll always protect you, Morgana"

"You're just a servant" She whispered almost inaudibly, as if she didn't want to say it but had to.

Merlin heard her though and her words stung a little too much. If only she knew…

"A servant who saved your life… twice"

Morgana stiffened in his embrace.

"Why?" She whispered, feeling tears forming in her eyes again "Why, Merlin? Why did you save me?" She spun around in his arms to be able to look at him when he answered. She desperately needed to know the truth. She needed to see that he wasn't lying to her.

Merlin gave her a wounded look, one she had seen too many times. Especially around those days when she began suspecting she had magic and had turned to him for his help. He sighed tiredly, suddenly looking older than ever, as if these past few days had taken its toll on him.

"Why not?" He finally answered, his voice devoid of all emotion and his face an unreadable mask.

His reply left Morgana staring at him in bewilderment. He had saved her just because? He had cured her wound just because? No. She wouldn't buy that. There was a reason, there was always a reason behind every action and Merlin had a good one. She knew as much and she wouldn't let him get away with it. She had to know the truth.

"No, that's not true" She shook her head to clear her thoughts "You did this for a reason. I…" Morgana bit her lip, struggling to say the next "I know you, Merlin"

It is he who has tears in his eyes now. Yes, she does know him. She knows him better than anybody. Better than Arthur, even better than Gaius. She has always been able to see right through him as if he was transparent in her presence. He can't believe how they strayed so far from that, how she changed so much along the way. He can't believe what she became, can't accept the transition she suffered. He cannot and he won't.

"No… it isn't" He admitted, dropping his gaze to the space between their bodies.

Morgana searched for his eyes almost pleadingly. She is so close to the truth she's been yearning for so long. She frowned when she noticed a tear rolling down Merlin's cheek and she moved to catch it with her finger, brushing it away.

"Please, Merlin" It's all she can say and Merlin brings himself to face her, even if his insides are cracking "Why did you save me?"

Merlin simply stares at her beautiful face for what seemed to be an eternal minute but he knows it was nothing but a few seconds. How could something so precious become so evil? And without noticing Merlin brought a hand up and cupped her cheek with it.

He cannot help thinking how fragile her body is, yet how deadly.

"I had to, Morgana" He managed to say through gritted teeth. Suddenly, speaking is more than what he could take and he had to breathe a few times before continuing "I couldn't leave you to die in there… not again" He dropped his eyes again, he couldn't bear to look at her anymore "Not again"

Morgana stayed in silence. She needed to hear the rest.

"I saved you because I realized that… that I cannot live without you" Merlin raised his water-filled eyes to meet hers again. They both had tears in their eyes and they both looked as if their hearts were breaking "Ever since that day, ever since the day in which I gave you that poison… I was never able to be myself fully again. When I watched you slowly lose your life in my arms I also lost a part of me. Something of mine died with you that day, Morgana. And it's been dead ever since. I regret what I did to you so much, you wouldn't be able to understand just how much. Your face has hunted my dreams since that day every night. Every single night I hear you gasping for air, I see your confused eyes as you realize it was me who did that to you. Every single night I wake up with your name in my lips and every single night I wish I could turn back time" Merlin cupped Morgana's cheek again and found it humid, damped with her own tears "When I saw you in that forest I knew I had to save you. I had to mend the terrible mistake I made, Morgana. That's why I did it"

She lowered her head, letting Merlin's hand fall to her side in the process. His words tugged at her heart, his words re-opened a wound that had never properly healed. He had betrayed her in ways she would never be able to put into words. He had simply shattered her heart into a million tiny pieces and there was no getting it back.

"You cannot undo the past, Merlin" She whispered, her eyes still downcast.

Merlin sighed.

"I know. I cannot turn back time and I cannot rewrite what it is already written" Merlin brought a finger under Morgana's chin and slowly lifted it up until they were both at eye-level "But I want to atone for what I've done to you and I want to turn this book's page and write anew. I know I can set things right if only you let me. Will you let me, Morgana?"

They were both so close to each other that they could hear each other's breathing. Their bodies' were still pressed tightly against one another, Merlin's left arm still wrapped around Morgana's smaller frame.

She moved even closer to him, feeling his hot and uneven breaths in her face. There were no words she could utter in this moment, it was all pure raw emotion. She couldn't tell him but maybe she could show him.

Morgana began to close the distance that separated them. Merlin closed his eyes and brought the hand he had under her chin to cup her cheek tenderly. She saw him closing his eyes but she couldn't, she had to see this was real and that he wasn't going to fade into thin air. She was about to seal their fates when a familiar voice broke the spell.

Morgana broke apart from him and Merlin jolted to his feet. His heart was racing as he trained his ear to confirm what they had heard, but it wasn't necessary.

"We need to go, Morgana" He urged her and extended a hand to help her up but she just stared at it, clearly confused.

"No. What's going on, Merlin?"

"There's no time for explanations, Morgana. We need to go!" They were running out of time, he knew they were running out of time. He had to take them to safety, now.

"Why? What's happening? Who is it?" Morgana didn't know anything about it, she had been unconscious at the time. She ignored the dangers they were in.

"It's Arthur" He answered and watched her face transition from confusion to pure fear "He found us"

**FIN**

**I believe that all Morgana needs to become who she once was again is this: A heart-felt and sincere apology from those who hurt her terribly. Tell me what you think of it so far! Merlin and Morgana are in a tough spot right now. Will they be able to escape unharmed or will they fall prisoners of fate once again?**

**Find the answer to these questions in the next chapter. See you soon!**


	5. Betrayal

**This chapter took an unexpected turn to be honest. I hadn't originally planned for this but it seems that the story took a life of its own! Anyway, I'm taking control back in the next chapter. Enjoy!**

"Arthur" Morgana repeated in a muffled whisper. Her fists clenched at her sides and a frown on her features, anger boiling quickly inside of her "YOU!" She rose to her feet and began to cross the distance that separated her from a very thrown-aback young warlock "You did this! You led him straight to me!" She screamed accusingly as Merlin began to walk backwards and away from her.

"No, Morgana. Listen to me" Merlin tried to interrupt her but Morgana was too infuriated so as to hear anything else aside from her own enraged accusations.

"How could I ever trust you?" She screamed and brought her hands to her face and nearly pulled at her own hair in frustration "How could I ever allow myself to believe any of your treacherous lies?" Morgana was dangerously closing in on him, trapping him between her body and the wall of the cave "You're nothing but a traitor and a filthy liar!" Morgana's eyes flashed gold and Merlin fell backwards, his back colliding against the wall.

"Morgana, please" He pleaded when he recovered from the impact, desperately trying to get her attention "You need to listen to me" But instead she extended her palm and began to cast a spell.

Morgana couldn't use her magic, not now when she was still recovering from a deep and mortal wound. But of course, the sorceress ignored that and it was precisely what Merlin was trying to tell her, if only she were to listen to him.

Merlin was between the sword and the wall, literally. Even if he could stop Morgana from killing him without revealing his magic, somehow, he still had Arthur and the knights to deal with. The recently crowned King of Camelot hadn't reached them yet but Merlin was sure he wouldn't take much longer.

It was a dead end.

"egin pelen dân!" Morgana's eyes seared gold and she shot her arm forward, intent on propelling the very large and deadly ball of fire that had formed in her palm toward Merlin, but a nearing presence halted her abruptly.

Morgana snapped her head over her shoulder to reveal no one else but King Arthur at the very entrance of the cave. His sword was drawn and firmly held in his hand. He looked a little paler than usual but not less lethal.

"Hello, brother" Morgana greeted with a hiss just as the rest of the knights surrounded their King in a protective semi-circle.

"We mean you no harm" Arthur replied tentatively, lifting his hands in the air as a proof of what he was saying "But you must return with us to Camelot, Morgana. You must answer to our people for your deeds"

For a moment, Arthur and Morgana held each other's gazes in silence. They measured one another, analyzing their power. Merlin and the knights contemplated the exchange from a prudent distance, neither daring to break the moment. Finally, Morgana shook her head and moved some steps backwards to gain some distance from her brother.

Arthur interpreted her stance as a negative for peace and drew out his sword from its scabbard again. The knights straightened behind their King's back and readied themselves to attack. Merlin remained where we was, with his back against the wall. One thing was to save Morgana and another very different was to directly attack his friends. He couldn't do that, no matter how much he wanted to save her.

Morgana chuckled at the sight of them and their swords. What are blades against a powerful sorceress as she? It was a battle she had already won.

The sorceress outstretched her hand and aimed her palm at her enemies. She threw her head backwards, canalizing an important amount of power, and then her eyes flashed gold and the knights were violently propelled backwards, landing against their backs with an audible 'thud'.

"LEON! GWAINE!" Arthur screamed helplessly as he took in the sight of his fallen knights and realized it was up to him to defeat Morgana.

The young King moved to face his opponent again and gripped his sword tighter in his hand. Morgana was powerful… too powerful. However, she looked rather sick and Arthur faltered for a second.

His momentary doubt was all it took for Morgana to cast another spell and send her brother flying backwards and colliding against Gwaine's chest. Arthur lost his breath with the sudden impact but was able to recover himself quickly. He got to his feet at the same time he saw Morgana slightly swaying on her feet. He frowned but didn't grant her any space for doubts again and he launched forward, with his sword ready to strike her down.

Morgana felt the adrenaline coursing through her veins and reacted faster than what her suddenly weakened body would have normally allowed her to. When she saw Arthur's sword up in the air and about to hit her, she outstretched her hand and one of the Knight's swords flew right into her grasp. She merely had time to raise the weapon to defend herself before Arthur's caused her irreparable damage. However, the force of the impact was more than what she could take and her knees gave out and she fell to the floor.

Arthur stood in front of her and raised his sword to the air, the tip pointing to the sky above. Morgana graced her wound with one hand to find it had been reopened and was now bleeding again and brought the other one above her head, trying to block Arthur's blow with it. She looked at her brother with watery green eyes as he stood tall before her, ready to finish her off. If this was her end she wanted to look straight into the eyes of the man that had become his father's pawn.

Arthur held his sword above his head, ready to strike. His own blue eyes found Morgana's staring at him, with something similar to fear and defeat. His hands were shaking violently, he couldn't do it. He couldn't kill her. Despite everything she had done to them, she was still his sister. He couldn't spill his own blood.

Arthur screamed as rage, frustration and sorrow took over him. He raised his sword even higher and then lowered it with all his strength. The hilt of his blade hit Morgana on her temple and she fell to the side, unconscious.

The King dropped his sword to the ground, too shaken to even care. His eyes moved over Morgana's limp form on the ground, hoping he hadn't killed her. Then, a slight movement caught his attention and his eyes met Merlin's. The wounded look that Arthur gave him was enough to make Merlin feel shattered inside. He had betrayed his best friend by trying to save Morgana and there was no way that Arthur would ever understand his reasons without him revealing his true nature and also part of his history with Morgana.

They held each other's gaze for what it seemed to be an eternity before a tentative hand grasped Arthur's shoulder, snapping him out of his absorption.

"My Lord, what do you wish us to do?" Asked Leon in a small voice. The knight knew his King all too well as to realize the inner pain he must be experiencing.

Arthur stayed silent for a long time and, just before Leon could take over in behalf of his King, he spoke, breaking the heavy silence that hung upon them.

"Shackle them" He said, his eyes boring intently on Merlin's pleading ones "We'll take them back to Camelot"

**Gah, poor Arthur. First his sister, now his best friend. Let's hope that Merlin finds a way to explain Arthur the truth before he has them both executed! In the next chapter Merlin will reveal his magic! Why and to whom? We'll find out soon!**

**Keep those reviews coming, I need them now more than ever!**


End file.
